Awkward Social Moments

First off, I think im going to try and turn this into a weekly thing, publishing an article every wednesday evening. I cant guarantee that I wont have a very pressing issue to talk about and so violate my own schedule, so i may end up publishing more frequent then that. But for the most part, expect an article every wednesday.

I think this is a pretty universal experience among students of all age groups. When you're walking from class to class and you see someone you vaguely know walking towards you. Then you have that awkward 15 seconds to decide whether you should say hi to them or not, and to decide whether they'll try to say hi to you or not. Its especially awkward if your hello is not reciprocated. Thats when your waving hand has to quickly turn into an attack on that non existent itch on the back of your head.

I think this is a common enough phenomenon that it is a direct result of our existing social fabric. What I mean by this is that not pursuing continual social interaction with someone wouldn't happen in more tightly knit communities. Even if you didnt know them that well, you wouldn't ignore a fellow tribe member walking nearby in the savannah circa 10000 BCE.

I think there are two contributing factors to this behavior, although they are intertwined to such an extent that theyre almost one factor. The first is that our population size is enormous. This leads directly into the second factor, that there is an implicit assumption underlying whenever you meet new people: that you may never see them again and thus investing in continual social interaction would be a waste of time and energy. Thus you're only likely to acknowledge someone on the street if there is a good chance of, or there has already been, meaningful and continual interaction.

So when you discuss a class subject with someone in your lecture or discussion, there is an implicit understood assumption that your association with each other is strictly academical, and very unlikely to proceed any further then that. Acknowledging someone outside of the academic context is seen as a breach of that initial assumption, and is seen as being too personal with someone with whom there should be no such interaction.

In other contexts, deliberately ignoring people is used as a method of social stratification (especially in high school). It's like saying "you are not worthy of my notice because I do not wish to associate myself with you".

Obviously there are exceptions to this rule where people meet in classes and become best friends, but i think this happens rarely enough that it doesn't disprove my assertion. Likewise, sometimes people simply don't see one another on the street, but again this is infrequent enough to not put a dent in my assertion.

Its very easy to ignore someone when you both are walking among a crowd. Both parties are able to mutually avoid acknowledging each other by the understood agreement that "there are many people here, I just didnt notice you." However take away such crowds and force the same two people to pass each other and they will (more often then not) greet each other to some extent. In this way, the context of being surrounded by many people reinforces the assumption that such interpersonal interactions are easily traded for one another and are thus not worth pursing. Take away that context and people will pursue interaction.

This is kinda sad in many ways. As such social animals I'd imagine that people should always seek interaction with one another, but we don't because of existing social norms. I think this contributes to the underlying sense of loneliness that pervades modernity.