I think our social norms have conditioned us to expect different types of altruism from us. Not that it hasn't ever happened, but I think it'd be much rarer for the girl to have shielded the guy. Now the question is, why? We expect male altruism, in the vein of chivalry, to be directed towards women, but we don't expect for the reverse to be true. Female altruism (based off of my assumptions which could be totally wrong) is generally more directed towards the protection of children. Not to say that the flows of altruism don't overlap, but generally this is pretty much the way things go.
I'm not really sure where to take this line of thought besides noting the oddity. Normally once noticing something like this, I'd usually take a normative stance. I don't think i can here. Altruism is the personal choice of self sacrifice, and I don't really think I have a right to tell people for whom they should sacrifice themselves. The only normative stance I'll take is regarding the original poster's caption, which I think sums up collective societal feelings "What makes a good boyfriend? What makes man? This guy knew what it took to be both, and he paid the price. God rest his soul, in my eyes he is a hero."
I'm not sure manhood (or being a good boyfriend) should be defined by the degree to which you are willing to sacrifice yourself, quite literally, for a woman. Such altruism can't be indicative of manhood, because it requires the presence of a woman to sacrifice yourself for. And really, is it fair to call someone either immature or "a bad man" for not sacrificing your life for a woman? And should women be held to the same standard of altruism as men? Why or why not? Again I'm not sure I can be too normative here. Sociology is said to be the self-consciousness of society- here I raise these issues more for your introspection than anything else.
chain of altruistic acts:
ReplyDeletemen->women->children
Men who don't sacrifice themselves to save the people they love, at least according to society, are less of a man than he who does save them. Women who don't sacrifice themselves for their children are viewed as poor mothers, whereas those who save them are viewed as great mothers.
Men are not the only ones asked to make a sacrifice for something else, and it's not demanded, it's applauded. If the boyfriend hadn't have saved her I don't believe he would have been chastised.
I certainly agree with you in that chain, and Im questioning if that's really how things should be. And I've gotta ask, you said women who don't sacrifice themselves for their children are viewed as poor mothers. So how should a boyfriend be treated differently if he fails to enact his altruistic role? Shouldn't he then also be a bad boyfriend. I'd say that he probably wouldn't be publicly chastised, but I do think that people in general would think less of him. Maybe think that he's a coward or something.
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